Another Shute triple!!

Fair Play


The Airds are visiting at the moment and Airdy (the bloke) accused me of being football phobic in my recent blogs, as I have been having a go at footballers for being a bit nancy when they are tackled. To be fair I think he has a point, so in the interest of balance I have found this video of rugby players doing a bit of ‘play acting’. I think you’ll agree that the IRB needs to take stern steps in this regard – the standard of role play is extremely poor and is very unlikely to ‘fool’ the ref. These guys make little or no attempt to match the excellent rolling around that we’ve been seeing in Brazil. Most of them have obviously never even bothered to study Stanislavski’s method acting and simply just lie there. One nil to football I’m afraid.


Seems you can’t win – even when you do!


I’m a bit worried about the BBC (mind you, who in their right mind isn’t?) – but, I think they may have been harshly criticised and demonised.  Okay, so we had  the Saville affair, the £100 million waste of licence payers money on a bungled digital project, grossly  inflated salaries for incompetent management, stupid fees paid to half -wit ‘talent’, ridiculous pay-offs, expenses that make your eyes water and various other things that wouldn’t be tolerated even in a badly run commercial operation. Oh yeah and the terminally dull pundits who will be partying in Rio (at our expense) long after the team have flown home. But now, something that can’t possibly be their fault – they’ve lost all communication with New Zealand! Apparently England U20s won the JWC this morning – I know I watched it on Sky Sports. It’s also all over twitter and other social media – brilliant. It seems, however, that the BBC have spent all their available funds on getting people pissed in Brazil and simply can’t afford to bell anyone in Auckland to find out if anything mildly interesting might just be going on down there. I just watched the BBC News at 1 – not a mention – they did manage to have interviews with Steven Gerrard and Roy Hodgson, to show England missing an easy run out at Headingley and to let us know that Lloyds (which I thought we owned) are flogging off TSB – although there was no mention of how much I can expect as my taxpayer’s share of the dosh. However, there wasn’t a peep about us actually winning something on the world stage. I checked the BBC News website – the sport bit also has several items about football – more about how well it’s all going for Roy and the boys in Samba City, West Brom signing someone (presumably a footballer) and Mark Lawrenson predicting results for a lot of countries we now don’t give a fuck about. There are also two sections on a ‘live update’ about a Grand Prix practice session – yeah – ‘practice’ not even the bleeding real thing. In addition. we are also usefully informed that Andy Murray will be playing Goffin at Wimbledon - although I thought he wrote songs and that he’s just died (Goffin not Murray, obviously). Elsewhere on their News Website there is a wealth of vital information – sunbathing may be addictive, some dead rapper’s musical got mixed reviews and songwriter Gerry Goffin has died (oh that Goffin!). Perhaps I’m being just a tad pernickety – maybe winning a World Cup isn’t that important to the blokes at the BBC whereas the Uruguay football team having their caramel spread seized by Brazilian customs is something that is vital to boosting our breadth of knowledge (I didn’t make that last bit up by the way!). I simply can’t wait until it’s time to fork out on my licence fee again – be nice if they didn’t piss it all up against the wall again next year.


At 6s & 7s


I was up early, had a plod round the block –figuratively anyway– it’s actually a fairly straight line to the Shell garage and then an even slower plod back the same way – I don’t mean backwards, obviously. I then had a fun couple of hours watching the rugby – think we might have been a tad misled by the media and expert pundits who have us as a shoe-in for the WC next year. I suspect they might have meant a shoeing! Anyway it’s been a long season and we can but hope – meanwhile I found an interesting article which should give you a laugh – if you can make head or tail of it, that is. Apparently there are eligibility rules for the Olympics to do with which passport you carry – which seems pretty straight forward to me – assuming it’s your own, and not one you bought from a fat bloke in the Duke’s Head, obviously. Although I imagine you might get away with a half decent forgery depending on where they are having the tournament. Anyway, I understand there are some interesting implications for the 7s in Rio. As far as I can make out, where you were born is totally irrelevant and as long as you haven’t played for a country for 18 months at 15s or 7s then you can play for whoever is willing to bung you a passport. An example given is that All Black Sitiveni Sivivatu can play for Fiji in Rio – or indeed possibly France if he becomes naturalised – maybe even GB – hopefully his passport application is one of those in Teresa May’s backlog (not a euphemism) – at least we could pretend it is (his lost passport not the euphemism!). This conundrum can only add to the fun which already exists with international rugby having fuck all to do with where your maternity hospital was built. It wouldn’t surprise me if, come the 2027 World Cup, every international side will be pretty much made up entirely of huge blokes who wouldn’t look at all out of place wearing a sarong. Not that you’d dare to take the piss out of them! An added advantage is that these guys are used to the heat – which will be handy as the World Cup is likely to be in Qatar by then.


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